


The mistake

by Warna



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Major Character Injury, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:27:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29430255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Warna/pseuds/Warna
Summary: Imagining how things could have gone differently if Inej hadn't reached Van Daal in time in Six of Crows ch. 2, and Jesper had sacrificed himself to protect Kaz.
Relationships: Jesper Fahey & Inej Ghafa, Jesper Fahey & Nina Zenik, Kaz Brekker & Jesper Fahey, Kaz Brekker/Jesper Fahey
Kudos: 21





	The mistake

Jesper saw a flicker of light on the roof behind Kaz, and he knew what was about to happen next. Without thinking, he leaped forward and pushed Kaz out of the way at the same time that the shot was fired. He felt a piercing pain in his right side, and then his knees hit the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kaz make a move towards him, but stopping himself right away. Jesper understood. Kaz couldn’t show signs of weakness in front of his opponent, and caring for Jesper would have been seen as just that - weakness. If anything, it would put Jesper in even more danger if Geels knew Kaz cared about him. Jesper understood, but that didn’t stop him from still feeling a twinge of hurt before he hit the floor and the world went black.

***  
Inej was running as fast as she can, but she reached Van Daal a second too late. That’s all it took for him to pull the trigger of the gun aimed at Kaz. “NO” she thought in desperation, as she grabbed him from the back and placed her knife at his throat. This didn’t stop what had already happened though, and she watched helplessly as Jesper pushed Kaz out of the way. Watched Jesper stagger as a red patch of blood started to form on his right side. She wanted to scream his name, but that would do nothing other than reveal her position. It wouldn’t serve anyone to make a wrong move right now, least of all Jesper. She watched him fall to the floor and stay there, completely limp. 

If she had reached Van Daal in time, this wouldn’t have happened. Jesper would still be standing, making snappy remarks, and Kaz wouldn’t have that conflicted look on his face. Inej could see how hard it was for him to keep his posture and face cool, because she knew how much he cared about Jesper. He would never admit to it, obviously, but she knew he did. She knew it hurt him every time Jesper came home bloody and beaten after endless gambling related fights, and how it hurt him that he couldn’t seem to make it stop. And it hurt her too. Jesper was like a brother to her too, always there with a laugh and a sly comment. He was like a living source of energy, always restless and just so alive. She knew that losing people in the barrel was a normal thing, but she couldn’t beat the thought of losing Jesper…  
She also knew that Kaz could not show his feelings for Jesper right now, as that would show weakness. And now was not the time for weakness.

Kaz spared one more glance at Jesper and then he said “Nineteen Burstraat”

***

Kaz saw Jesper move seconds before he heard the gunshot. He didn’t have time to move before Jesper collided with him. He lost his balance for a second, but regained it just in time to turn around and see Jesper fall to the ground like a bag of potatoes. Kaz couldn’t believe his eyes - Jesper was always so elegant, so controlled in him movements, that it surprised Kaz to see that a time and place existed when that would not hold true. And of course it did. Jesper had just gotten shot. No, Jesper had just taken a bullet, a bullet that was meant for Kaz. Jesper had willingly chosen to shove Kaz out of the way and take the pain that was meant for him.  
For a fraction of a second, Kaz was overwhelmed by emotion. He loved Jesper like a brother, he knew that. He had always been aware of that, from the first time he met him. With his sarcastic smile and quick remarks, Jesper had always been one of Kaz’s protegees. He reminded him so much of Jordy, and he wanted to protect him the same way he always wanted to protect Jordy. But just like Jordy, Jesper was stubborn and strong willed, harbouring dangerous habits and a reluctance to listen to reason when it came to them. And now, just like Jordy, Jesper was dying.  
But his time, it was all Kaz’s fault.

Kaz collected himself almost instantly after Jesper fell to the ground. He knew he couldn’t show that he cared for Jesper, or they would use Jesper against him. This night was not going as planned, but Kaz still had one trick left, and now was the time to play it.  
“Nineteen Burstraat” Kaz said, looking Geels dead in the eyes.  
“What was that Brekker?” Geels asked with a small flinch of his lips  
“That’s where your girl lives, isn’t it?” Kaz asked. “And don’t even pretend not to know what girl I’m talking about. I know all about her, how sweet and pretty she is, and how nice she treats you. I’m not surprised you never told anyone about her - wouldn’t want anything to happen to such a treasure, right?” Kaz said in a menacing tone  
“What did you do Brekker?!” Geels asked in a tone that was infused with panic  
“Nothing. Yet” Kaz answered calmly. He had to keep his calm. He had to get Jesper out of here as soon as possible if the shooter was to have any chance of surviving. “But if I don’t leave this place in the next few minutes, my men will set fire to her building. And there will be nothing for you to do but stand by and watch your precious girl go up in flames. She’s usually at home at this time of the evening, right?” Kaz asked with a small tilt of the head  
“You’re a monster Brekker” Geels almost yelled back  
“Yes, and that’s how you know I meant every word I said” Kaz answered in a calm tone  
“This will not be the last time we meet” Geels said as he was signaling to his men to start heading for the door. 

“It worked..” Kaz thought . It was nothing but a bluff, he had no men outside that poor girl’s building and no intention of ever harming her. When people see you as a monster, you don’t have to do every monstrous thing.  
Kaz waited until Geels and his men were gone, and rushed to Jesper. He felt Inej appear by his side at the same time his knees touched the ground.  
“What happened? Are you alright?” Kaz asked  
“Yes. I didn’t make it to Van Daal in time. I was only a second too late, but it meant everything…” Inej answered, her face full of sadness and worry.

Jesper was laying face down on the floor, and they worked together to turn him around as carefully as possible. His eyes were closed and his face was pale, but he was drawing breath. Shallow breaths, yes, but at least he was breathing.  
“Help me get him up” Kaz told Inej, and they somehow got Jesper to hang between their shoulders. It was an awkward position, as Jesper was the tallest of the three, and Inej was considerably smaller than Kaz, but it had to do. They started walking back to the barrel, Jesper’s long longs trailing behind.  
“This is all my fault, this is my fault…” Inej kept thinking as they were advancing, when suddenly her thoughts were interrupted by Jesper’s voice  
“You guys are gonna give me back pains” Jesper said in a low and weak voice from between them. Kaz and Inej both stopped walking and looked at him. He was still very pale, probably even paler than before, if that was possible, but his eyes were open, and despite it all, he still had a small dumb grin on his face.  
“You’re awake!” Kaz said in surprise  
“This position would be enough to wake the dead” Jesper answered  
“At least we’re trying to save your sorry ass” Inej answered, as she felt tears form in her eyes  
“And I appreciate that” Jesper answered, but it seemed like that used the last drop of energy he had, cause his eyes closed again.  
“Jesper, you have to stay awake” said Kaz with all the authority he could muster in his voice. But Jesper’s eyes stayed closed, and his breath became even more ragged and uneven than before.  
“Shit, we have to get him to a healer NOW” Kaz said, and they started walking again, much faster this time.

***

Nina was preparing to go out when she heard a commotion outside her room. Before she could go to check it out, the door burst open and Kaz and Inej walked in, holding up an unconscious Jesper.

“What happened?!” Nina asked, as she put down her purse and made room on the table for Kaz and Inej to lay Jesper down on.  
“Jesper got shot” Kaz replied in a very obvious way.  
“A meeting didn’t go according to plan. He got shot about 10 minutes ago and has barely been conscious since. Please, Nina, you have to help him!” Inej added, a pleading look on her face.

Nina took a look at Jesper. If it wasn’t for her ability to feel his faint heartbeat, she would have thought he was already dead, looking as pale as he did. Nina opened his jacket and pulled away his blood-soaked shirt.  
“Oh no” she gasped. “Kaz, he needs a Healer - I don’t have the kind of training to fix this…”  
“I know” Kaz interrupted her “But he needs help now, and you were the closest help we could get” he added, with an intense gaze Nina had never seen in his eyes before.  
“Ok” she conceded “I’ll do my best. But I need you to leave the room. I can’t focus with you here”  
“Fine.” Kaz said, and turned around on his heels, taking Inej with him. Inej gave Jesper one last look, and muttered what Nina could only presume was a prayer.

As soon as they left the room, Nina got to work. She couldn’t heal him, not exactly, but she could stabilize him enough to close the wound.  
Nina didn’t know much about Jesper, except that he was one of the people Kaz seemed to trust the most… well, as much as Kaz could trust anyone. But it did bother her to see him so still. In all the times she had seen him before, he had never been still. He was always full of life and vigour, and never seemed to be able to stand still for more than a few seconds at a time. Nina enjoyed his company because of the energy he always carried, like a breath of fresh air. It was that same energy that had brought him to Nina’s door for healing multiple times, but even when injured, he had never lost that spark in him. Until now, laying completely still on the table, seeming so lifeless. “This is all wrong” thought Nina, as she worked on trying to make it right again.

***

Kaz and Nina closed to door to Nina’s room and sat down on two chairs they found just outside the room.  
“This is all my fault” said Inej in a small voice.  
“What do you mean?” asked Kaz  
“If I had found the shooter in time, I could have stopped him before he shot, and none of this would have happened...”  
Kaz stayed quiet for a while, before he said “No, Inej, it’s my fault. I should have told you the plan before. If only I had trusted you with that information, you would have known where to look for the shooters instead of just running around trying to find them in the last second. This was my mistake, and Jesper is paying the price for it…” Kaz’s voice drifted off.

Inej gave him a long look, and was surprised to find that he looked genuinely sad. This was the closest she had ever seen him coming to admit that he cared about anyone in his gang. That they were more than just weapons and investments to him. Inej was touched by this, and wondered for a second whether he would care this much if she ever got hurt. But this wasn’t about her, and no matter what Kaz said, she still felt responsible for letting Jesper get shot.  
“We are both to blame” she offered, and waited until Kaz met her gaze. He gave her a small nod of the head, and they both went back to being silent.

***

It took 2 days before Jesper finally woke up. He was groggy, his head hurt, and his throat was extremely dry. He woke up in a room he knew all too well from the number of times he had been sent here to be healed. He guessed he had Nina to thank for still being alive, and made a mental note to take her out for waffles soon.

He looked around slowly. He saw that Nina was sleeping in a chair next to the table he was on, and Inej was sleeping on a chair in the corner. “What lousy guards they make” he thought with a smile. He tried to sit up to take a look at his wound, but he was met with a sharp pain that made his let out a loud hiss. That was enough to wake up the two girls, who looked at him with huge grins on their faces.  
“You’re awake! I can’t believe you’re finally awake!” Nina said.  
“About time, I would say” continued Inej.  
“It’s nice to see you too” Jesper answered, and continued with a smile “Would be even nicer with some water”.

“How do you feel?” Inej asked while Nina went out to get some water  
“Like I’ve been shot” Jesper answered with a tone he hoped came out as cheery, but he could see Inej’s face change.  
“I’m sorry Jesper. If I would have gotten to the shooter in time…”  
“Don’t be silly, Inej” Jesper answered with a smile, placing his hand on top of hers “Besides, it’s good for my ego to be taken down a notch sometimes”  
Inej gave a short sweet laugh, and took his hand into hers “I’m so happy you’re alive”  
“Me too.” Jesper answered earnestly.

Nina came back with a cup of water, and helped Jesper drink from it. He was still pale and slow in his movements, but she was confident he would make a full recovery. He was very stubborn, after all.

Neither of time realized Inej had left the room, until Kaz entered a few minutes later. His eyes went straight to Jesper’s face, where they stayed for what felt like a beat too long. Like he wanted to be completely convinced that Jesper was in fact awake, and this was not just a dream. Then they trailed down to his bandages, and his expression changed to one of sadness for just one second.  
“How are you feeling Jesper?” Kaz asked, moving next to the table and meeting Jesper’s eyes again.  
“Not too bad” Jesper answered, giving Kaz his best version of a devil-may-care smile.  
“Good” answered Kaz “Wouldn’t want to lose the best shooter we have in the barrel”  
“No, of course not” Jesper answered, but his smile faded just a bit - an almost unperceivable change. But Kaz noticed it.  
“And I wouldn’t want to lose a friend” Kaz offered, and Jesper’s head shot up instantly, looking at Kaz in disbelief, wondering if he had actually heard him say the words. Kaz gave him a smile, and put his hand on Jesper’s shoulder. “But next time, if you die trying to save me, I will kill you myself” he said, and Jesper let out a loud laugh that sent ripples of pain through his body. But that didn’t matter at all right now.


End file.
